Sexuality, Food, and Love (Part 1)


I was very excited and inspired to find this beautiful affirmation today!

  From Louise Hay’s 2014 ‘I Can Do It’ calendar.

From Louise Hay’s 2014 ‘I Can Do It’ calendar.

My girlfriend had received a calendar of daily positive affirmations as a gift but hadn’t opened it yet, so today we went through and read aloud all the days of 2014 that had passed, tearing the pages off one by one, so we could get up-to-date. There were so many beautiful affirmations, I must have saved at least twenty of them as potential additions to my vision board, yet this one particularly called out to me.  (You can find the calendar here.)

Embracing, loving, and accepting my sexuality has been, and continues to be, a complex process for me. For many years, I felt that my sexuality had no home or community in which to reside, that my resistance to clearly labeling myself meant that I would never be fully loved or accepted by others. My own sense of shame and the belief that something was fundamentally wrong with me was a very heavy burden to carry. I was able to passionately support the coming out process of friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, but unable to really lend that same compassion and openness to my own personal exploration of my sexual identity.

Today, I sincerely believe that owning the full power and strength of our honest sexuality, whatever it may be at any given moment, is a key to unlocking the door to our freedom and happiness. 

Years ago, while in a support group for people with eating-disordered behavior, I experienced a moment of budding awareness that there was a strong link between struggling with food (or drugs and alcohol) and struggling with our sexuality. The group had eight women in it, and five of us identified as lesbian, bisexual, or queer. I noticed that all of us felt little or no acceptance (or acknowledgement) of our sexual identities within some important space or community of which we were a part (be it family or other important people in our lives), and that we all had come out at a point we felt had been “late” in life. I don’t correlate that with a specific age, but more with a feeling that we had somehow waited too long to be honest with ourselves and others about our sexuality. It was heartbreaking to realize this sense of shame about something so completely natural and healthy had mutated into some extremely unhealthy and often life-threatening behaviors. I began to understand the power of acceptance and love, thinking that if we were able to somehow love and accept this part of ourselves, that perhaps we could heal those other behaviors with greater ease. Affirmations like the one above can be simple tools that are straightforward and easy to incorporate as we walk this path of healing.

This topic holds a lot of significance for me, both personally and as a health coach, so my next two blogs will explore a few perspectives on this important topic in greater depth.

For now, I am really excited to simply pass on this affirmation. It applies to each and every one of us.

“My sexuality is perfect for me. I know who I am, and I am blessed.”  Amen!

Love, Emily

p.s.  I am a huge fan of Louise Hay, particularly her book ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. Her bright and honest approach toward life, healing, and positivity is really revolutionary. If you are on a path of healing or simply seeking a fresh, positive boost, I really recommend her work!